Bulky & Beauteous Page 10

  We were laughing as the ski lift reached the top of the slope. Not so gracefully I managed to get off the lift and away from the chairs circling back around. Rich was right behind me.

  “I guess they really want grandchildren, huh?”

  “Yeah. They do. I know they mean well, but there are certain things that shouldn’t be discussed between parents and their children, especially during dinner. I think we crossed that line about a year ago.”

  “Ouch. I can’t imagine that. Thankfully my parents haven’t started in on that one with me yet. Of course they just split up last week so their focus is elsewhere these days.”

  Rich rested his hand on my arm as we lined up at the top of the slope. I looked down over the hill, wondering what I was getting myself into. Maybe following him up there wasn’t such a good idea. Then again, it was a little late for that.

  “Your parents just split up? Why?” he asked, turning toward me, our impending doom forgotten.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know exactly. My mom moved out and is living with my sister right now. I haven’t been able to get a hold of my dad except to know he’s alive and hasn’t burned down the house. Whenever I try to ask about Mom he says he has to go and hangs up on me.”

  “What are you going to do about it?”

  I paused. How did he know I was going to do something?

  “What do you mean?”

  He cocked his head to the side and looked at me as if I’d just asked the stupidest question ever. “I mean what are you going to do. You fix things. You’re always there for everyone in the school whenever they need help. You take on anything and everything if it means helping someone else with what they have to do. You’re always the first name the rest of us volunteer because we know we can count on you. Maybe it isn’t fair to you, now that I think of it, but we all think of you as the one to turn to when we need help. I guess I just sort of figured you were like that in your personal life too. Something goes wrong, Addi fixes it.”

  I stood there, flabbergasted and a little annoyed. No, make that a lot annoyed. Why was it my job to fix everything? Why couldn’t everyone fix their own damn problems?

  And why couldn’t I keep my nose out of it?

  I sighed heavily. “You’re right. I am trying to figure out how to fix it. Is that bad?”

  Rich blanched. “Bad? I don’t think so. Some of us are better at solving problems than others. I think it’s the left brained part of you. You’re very organized with your approach to everything. That’s why you’re a great teacher, especially for science. You develop a plan, you put the plan into place, you solve the problem. Done. I wish I could fix things so easily in my life.”

  I felt bad for Rich. None of my friends had started talking about babies yet, but I’d heard plenty of stories of people who tried for years and never had any luck conceiving. It could take its toll on a relationship, especially when other people, like his in-laws, were heavily involved.

  Of course my problems weren’t always easily solved either. Cass sprung to mind. If I could simply lay out a plan for her and keep her out of parties and drunk men’s cars my life would get infinitely less complicated.

  Same with my parents.

  “I’m not sure getting my parents back together is going to be easy. It feels like an impossible task when neither of them will talk about it.”

  “Then you need to get them together without them knowing. Like a blind date for the two of them. But with each other. Remind them of all the reasons they were happy for so long.”

  “You know what, Rich? That’s a great idea. They used to talk all the time about their first date. They both said they fell in love that night. I should recreate it for them.”

  Rich nodded. “That would be really cool. I think I might steal that idea for my own situation. Take Emily out for a date, one of our old haunts, and some dancing. Like we used to do before we started worrying so much about having a baby. Maybe all we need is a night of no stress to get things back on track with us.”

  “I hope so, Rich. It sounds like whatever stress you put on yourselves is that much worse with her parents input. Getting back to basics of who you are might help ease some of that, even if it doesn’t help get you guys pregnant.”

  “Yeah, and I think that’s what we need. I’m almost to the point where I just want to tell her we’ll try again in a few months, but I know she really wants kids. I do too, but I see what it’s doing to her and I hate it.”

  I nodded, understanding better than he could imagine. “It’s hard to watch the people we love fall apart and not be able to help.”

  “You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”

  “Unfortunately I am. But enough depressing stuff. Let’s see just how far down this hill I can get before falling on my face. At least you’ll get a laugh out of today’s adventure.”

  Rich laughed. “I’m sure you’re not that bad.”

  I cocked an eyebrow at him. “Did you see me land in the bushes the first day?”

  He laughed again, throwing his head back. Gone was the sorrow and fear that he was feeling moments ago, replaced by amusement at my expense. I was okay with that. It’s what I did, apparently. I fixed things. And I managed to fix his mood, if only for a few minutes.

  “I never would have imagined the athletic Ms. James was a klutz on skis.”

  I nodded. “Sad, but true. I guess I can’t be good at everything.”

  “None of us are. But it’s good to see that you aren’t perfect. It makes my failings that much more… accepting.”

  “Our failings make us who we are. Without them we’d never learn to try harder or to try something new.”

  “Very profound. Now quit stalling and fall down that hill.”

  “As you wish!” I said as I took off.

  I could hear Rich behind me, safely keeping his distance. I started out pretty good, with my skis straight, my knees bent, and my eyes focused on the bottom of the hill. The wind whipped past me, dragging my long, brown hair out from under my scarf as my hood fell back. I felt free, light, alive. It was a great feeling.

  Rich got a little closer and yelled, “Looking good, Addi. And you said you were going to fall.”

  As if he was a fortune teller, I immediately lost my balance. I tried to correct myself, but there was no hope. I tipped to the right and dug in with my pole to push myself back, but the pole caught and was nearly ripped out of my hand. The ground approached my left side with alarming speed and I bent my knees to try to absorb some of the blow. My hip hit the ground first, an explosion of pain making me cry out. My skis went flying off my feet, my poles scattered, and I rolled like a snowball, gathering speed down the hill.

  When I finally came to a stop, after what felt like a mile but was probably only a few feet, I was flat on my back looking up at the bright blue sky. Something about the happy sky just didn’t seem fair.

  But then a shadow crossed over my face and I immediately wished for the blue sky again. Because anything was better than seeing Joey’s face above me when I’d just wiped out.

  Again.

  Thirteen

  “What were you thinking?” Joey chastised me, reaching for my hand.

  I shook him off and laid there. I wasn’t ready to get up just yet. And I certainly wasn’t ready to hear a lecture from him. He had no right to tell me what to do.

  I stared up at the sky, once again clear and blue, and changed my mind completely. The blue sky wasn’t mocking me. It was helping me. It was telling me things were going to be okay.

  Or maybe it was saying I was losing it because I was interpreting messages in a clear sky.

  Did I hit my head?

  “Shit, Addi, are you okay?” Rich asked from the other side of me. I heard the smile in his voice and felt better. At least I’d given him something to laugh at.

  “You were warned,” I told him, starting to sit up.

  Rich had my skis and poles beside him as he offered me his hand to sit up. Once I was seated
I heard, “I’ve got this,” from behind me.

  Joey sounded pissed. I turned to look up at him and saw him staring down at Rich. His eyes were narrowed and his arms were folded over his large chest, making him appear that much bigger.

  Rich noticed the obvious possessive - was there another word for it? - stance and rose to his feet. He rocked back on his heels and crossed his arms over his chest. Rich wasn’t as big as Joey, but he wasn’t a small man either. Having the two of them standing over me, acting like they both owned a piece of me was really starting to piss me off.

  I rose to my feet between them and put a hand on both of their chests. “Rich, we’re good. Thank you for getting me up there, and I’m glad we had a chance to talk. I’m going to take your advice about my parents, and I hope you and Emily get over some of your stress and things work out for you guys.”

  Rich visibly diffused at the sound of his wife’s name. He uncrossed his arms and focused on me instead of Joey, who was still standing like an overbearing statue behind me. Rich stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. He whispered in my ear, “Are you sure you’re okay with him?”

  I nodded against his chest and released him. Rich took one last look at Joey, picked up his snowboard, and walked off toward the ski lift again. I took a deep breath and turned to Joey. “What the hell is the matter with you?” I asked.

  “What are you doing with him?”

  “Excuse me?” I blanched.

  Joey’s stance didn’t change. His expression didn’t change. He stood stoically, watching me as though I was the guilty party when he was the one who’d vanished earlier with someone else.

  Not that it mattered. Nothing was happening between us. There wasn’t an us.

  “I looked for you and you were gone. Why were you with him?”

  “Okay, first of all, you couldn’t have looked very hard because I was unloading the gear while you were flirting with Amber and then the two of you disappeared. Rich asked if I wanted to ski and I figured it was better to have someone to talk to than wander around by myself, so I went with him.”

  “I was going to show you a few things today,” Joey said, his voice softening enough to let me know he was after another blow job.

  “Oh, really? Was that before or after you showed Amber?” I sniped back.

  “Really? You think I want her?” he whispered harshly, grabbing a hold of my upper arm and half-dragging me toward the ski lodge. I fought to keep up with him in my heavy boots, but I wasn’t about to let him win. If he was going to act like an ass, I was going to also.

  “Well, I haven’t seen you brush her off, and from what I hear guys are into women who hang all over them, so yeah, I think you want her.”

  He pushed through a door on the side of the ski lodge marked private, pulling me in behind him. He kicked the door shut with his boot and immediately pressed me against it, his body covering mine.

  “If I wanted her then why is your face the one I’ve been seeing every time I close my eyes? If I wanted her then why is it your hands I imagine on me when I jerk off? If I wanted her then why have I been going nuts trying to find you? If I wanted her then why have I been hard all day at just the thought of seeing you here again?”

  His lips came down on mine in a punishing kiss. I couldn’t help but respond. My lips opened under his, his tongue diving into my mouth. I fought him for control, but he wasn’t letting up this time. His hands grasped mine, dragging them above my head and pinning them there. His hips moved against me, starting a slow burn between my legs that only got hotter with every second he kissed me.

  I wanted the kiss to last forever. To feel the power of his desire coursing through my body. All too soon he pulled back, stalking away from me so fast my weakened knees nearly gave out. I gripped the doorknob behind me for stability and watched him. My breath panted from my lungs in deep, ragged breaths, a complete contradiction to the slow, steady breaths he was taking. Where I trembled, he was strong. Where I burned, he appeared calm.

  Then he faced me and I saw the truth in his eyes.

  He was just as fucked up as I was.

  “I know you have to leave soon, but I want you to come back here. During your break. I’m here every day. If you call me, I’ll meet you here and give you more lessons. I just want to see you again, and don’t think I can wait three weeks.”

  The honesty in his statement made me warm and tingly all over. Like I meant something to him. It was foolish to think it was true. We didn’t know each other at all. But I couldn’t deny I didn’t want to wait three weeks to see him again either.

  I handed over my phone without a word. He took it and programmed in his number, then gave it back to me. I slid it back into my pocket and stood there, my heart still pounding. Should I say thank you? Should I just leave? Should I jump him like I really wanted to?

  Joey didn’t give me a chance to figure it out. He was across the room with me in his arms again before I could take my next breath. The intensity of our first kiss was gone, replaced by a sweetness that nearly made me cry. His lips danced over mine, barely kissing me. His hand drifted through my hair, pulling what was still tangled in my scarf free. The gentle tug of the strands sent jolts of awareness through me, starting from my scalp and heading straight to my core. When he finally lined our bodies up and leaned into me I whimpered with need, which made him grin.

  He pressed me against the door again, his erection hard and throbbing between us, making its presence known even through all our clothes. Joey’s tongue traced the seam of my lips, seeking entry that I couldn’t, and didn’t want to, deny. Neither of us sought control this time, both just happy to lazily kiss and enjoy each other. My hands ran over his jacket, wanting to touch him, but wanting to keep our kiss just a kiss. I reached the collar of his coat, the slippery fabric giving way to the heated, stubbled skin of his jaw. I traced the angles there, memorizing him for when he wasn’t around. The bite of his whiskers against my fingertips contrasted with the softness of his hair. I knocked his hat off and dove my fingers through the silky strands, wanting to keep him there forever.

  Joey slowed my progression, pulling back from our kisses and making them lazy again. “What are you doing this weekend?” he asked between kisses.

  “I was thinking of coming skiing.”

  He smiled and nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

  “By the way, Rich is married.”

  He stopped kissing me and stepped back. “The guy you were with? The other teacher?” I nodded. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “So I made an ass of myself for no reason?”

  “Pretty much,” I agreed, laughing.

  “Good to know.”

  ~*~

  Two days later I finally decided I wasn’t going to let my dad avoid me forever. I pulled up in front of the house I grew up in, ready for a fight, if that’s what it took.

  The front door opened as I got out of my car. My dad was silhouetted by the light behind him and for the first time I could remember, he looked old. I never thought of either of my parents as old, even growing up, but 58 appeared to be weighing on my dad in ways I’d never noticed before.

  Or maybe it was our impending conversation.

  “I wondered when you’d show up,” he said by way of greeting.

  I walked straight into his embrace and let him hold me for a minute. No matter what, he was still my dad, and I could use some of his encouragement, even if it was so I could talk to him and not fix something else.

  Dad and I had always been close. Where Mom and Cass shared a love of fashion and all things girly, Dad taught me how to fix things. I guess his lessons stuck since I’d been fixing everything in my path ever since.

  “Hi, Dad,” I said against his chest, letting his familiar scent wash over me. I felt better, just being there with my dad. No pressure to be someone I wasn’t. No worrying about anything. Just being there.

  “Hi, pumpkin. How’ve you been?”

  I leaned back and cocked an eyebrow at him. He laughed
and led me inside. “Okay, okay. I know. I shouldn’t have been avoiding your calls. You’re here now, so let’s talk.”

  Dad hung up my coat in the front closet then led me past his office and the stairs into the kitchen. I perched on a bar stool at the island, looking around the kitchen that was as familiar to me as the one I shared with Sam. It looked different for some reason, and I couldn’t put my finger on it.

  “What’s going on with Mom?” I asked, not willing to bullshit for long.

  Dad blew out a breath and leaned back against the sink. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at me as though trying to decide what to tell me. Finally he uncrossed his arms and stepped forward, leaning against the opposite side of the island. “We just grew apart is all. I think it’s been happening for a while, but we finally admitted it. We’re different people than we were 35 years ago. Hell, we’re different than we were ten years ago.”

  “Do you still love her?”

  “Of course I do. That’ll never change. Your mother and you girls are the best things that’ve ever happened to me. But that doesn’t mean we need to stay married forever.”

  “Why not?” I asked, unable to understand what the hell was going on.

  “It just doesn’t, pumpkin. Your mother and I want different things out of the rest of our lives. I want her to be happy, and she wants the same for me. We’re just not sure we can be happy together anymore.”

  “You’re not sure means maybe you can be. I don’t understand why it’s all or nothing. Why can’t you figure it out while you’re still together?” I was starting to get upset. It was like he was saying it was over, but I didn’t feel like it should be.

  Dad shook his head. “We tried figuring it out, but it wasn’t working. This didn’t happen overnight, sweetheart. It’s been coming for a while. We’ve forgotten who we used to be. And the people we are now… we’re different.”

  “Maybe you’ve forgotten, but you’re still in there. The people you once were. The people who loved each other.”

  “We still love each other, honey. That has nothing to do with it. I love your mother enough to want her to be happy, even if that means she’s happier without me. You’ve seen her. Is she happier now? Does she seem like she wants to go backward?”