Order vs. Chaos Read online

  I nodded. “Absolutely. She’s incredible. She’ll do anything her brides and grooms ask for. I was going through the website the other night and blown away by the different things she’s done.”

  “Do I detect a little something in your voice?”

  I knew exactly what she was getting at and forcibly dialed it back. I might have been impressed by Kiana, but there was no way in hell I was going to confess that to my future sister-in-law. She would be all over me about asking her out.

  “Admiration?” I suggested.

  “No. That’s not it. It sounded suspiciously like you might have a crush on her. Is she hot?”

  I sighed. “She’s a very attractive woman, but she’s my boss. It’s not gonna happen.”

  “Why not? Give me a good reason. Because Drew was Carrie’s boss, and it worked out. Mike is still Lexi’s boss. I don’t buy that crap.”

  Fuck. Leave it to Tara to call me on my shit and back me into a corner. I couldn’t tell her the truth which meant there was only one thing to say. “I just don’t think of her that way. She’s my boss. She’s an impressive woman, but you know I’m not looking for anyone. I just want to be here. To enjoy living here.”

  I heard the disappointment in her voice when she said, “Okay. Well, I was hoping. But I get it. You think she’ll do well with our wedding?”

  I nodded. “Absolutely. I’ll talk to her soon. She’s stressing about the weddings coming up around Valentine’s Day. I found out yesterday we have four that weekend.”

  “Ouch.”

  I chuckled. “Yeah. One and I’m worn out. Four might kill me.”

  “You can take it,” she said with a laugh. “Noah wants to talk to you.”

  “Okay. Bye, Tara.”

  “Bye, Sawyer. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  She handed the phone to my brother, who said, “Are you screwing your new boss?”

  “Jesus, really?”

  “Well, it sounded like it. That or you want to.”

  “No and no,” I lied. Hell yeah, I’d like to. But it wasn’t going to happen.

  “Why not?”

  “She’s my boss. And I’m here to chill out. Not get tied down like the rest of you.” It was my story, and I was definitely sticking to it.

  “You don’t know what you’re missing, bro.”

  I laughed. “I’ll take my chances.”

  “You’re missing out.”

  I laughed again.

  “Seriously, you doing okay?”

  I nodded. Noah found out about my nightmares in the last few months. I didn’t explain them to him, but he knew I had them. He’d been more worried than our mother, especially when I admitted stress caused them.

  “I’m good.”

  “Nightmares?”

  “Just one.”

  “Good. You know you can always call me.”

  I nodded, my throat tightening. I really did miss them. All of them. “Thanks.”

  “We’re heading to dinner, but we’ll talk soon. I love you, big brother.”

  “Love you.”

  He hung up, leaving me to stand on a beach in Hawaii, with one of the best views in the world, feeling more alone than I had…ever.

  Chapter Four

  The crack of the cap coming off was the best thing I’d heard all day. I tipped the bottle up and drained half of it before I took a breath.

  “Thirsty?” Kapena asked with his trademark grin. The man liked to show off his teeth.

  “Yeah. I need something besides the Pacific Ocean to drink.”

  Kapena laughed loudly, the blast bouncing off the walls. I couldn’t help but smile with him.

  “I think you need a few more lessons before I can consider you a student of mine. You’re pretty much an embarrassment to surfing right now.”

  I nodded. “I’ll give you that.”

  Kapena flipped the salmon on the grill and took a swig of his beer. “The more you do it, the easier it’ll get.”

  “How old were you when you learned to surf?”

  “Learned? Nah, man. You don’t learn to surf in Hawaii. It’s in the blood.”

  “Someone had to teach you.”

  He shrugged and turned back to the grill. “My dad was a surfer. He had Kiki and I both out with him since we were babies.”

  “You really did grow up surfing?”

  He looked over his massive shoulder and grinned. “Yep.”

  “How many lessons do you normally give someone before they get the hang of it?”

  “There’s always something to learn. Once you get it, you’ll want to keep coming back. For you, it’ll be a while. Maybe by fall you’ll be able to ride a good wave.”

  “Fall! That’s like eight months!”

  Kapena laughed again. “It’ll be a while before you can do anything.”

  “Ah, come on. I’ve surfed before.”

  “I’d never know it watching you. It was like seeing a baby seal try to surf. Paddle, paddle, paddle. Get smashed by a wave. Swim it off.”

  I rolled my eyes and laughed. “It wasn’t that bad.”

  Kapena snorted. “It was, hoa.”

  I shook my head. We weren’t going to be friends long if he kept trashing me.

  “Is my sister talking to you yet?”

  Great. As if getting pounded by the water wasn’t enough, we had to talk about Kiana.

  “Nope.”

  “She’s pretty independent. Thinks she can take on the world.”

  “She can. I’m not gonna fuck with her.”

  “You’d better not,” Kapena said, all evidence of joking vanishing. “You touch my sister and you’re on the first plane off the island.”

  “What is it with the two of you? Is that your only threat? You don’t own the island. You can’t just kick people off it.”

  “Wanna bet?” Kapena said, stepping over to me.

  Well, fuck. He was even bigger when he was pissed off and protecting his sister. I was in big trouble if he ever found out I kissed her. He’d probably personally escort me to the airport and off the island.

  Hands up, I took a step back. “I’m not gonna touch her! She barely even acknowledges my presence. I like women who want me to touch them. Not ones who tolerate me because they have no other choice.”

  “You must not have many women then.”

  Kapena laughed at his own joke, taking the salmon off the grill and setting it on plates next to a salad and rice pilaf. He was really making it hard for me to think about moving out when he fed me like that every day. Of course, the threats about Kiana and the insults made me lean the other way.

  “I have plenty of women, thank you.”

  “Uh huh. Why don’t you have one of them cook you dinner once in a while?”

  “I don’t know anyone here.”

  “That’s what I thought,” he said with a self-satisfied grin.

  I ignored Kapena as I dug into my dinner. I barely tasted most food, but he made eating an experience. It wasn’t just food. It was an event, like Kiana and her weddings. He should have owned a restaurant instead of teaching people how to surf.

  “Don’t wake me up in the morning when you leave. How early are you going?”

  I shrugged. “I want to catch sunrise at the park so probably around four. When I was here before I wasn’t there early enough.”

  “You’re insane. You know the volcano will be there at noon, right?”

  I nodded. He didn’t get it. No one got it. Hawaii and Volcanoes National Park kept me going when I thought I was going to die. Not just once, but many times. I told myself I’d go back. And being there, but not seeing it yet, was killing me.

  “I know,” I said, not bothering to argue.

  “Just don’t get up there and end up burned up by the volcano. You know it’s hot, right?”

  “Do you think I’m that big of a dumbass?” I asked, laughing with him.

  He shrugged. “You did say you knew how to surf.”

  “Fuck you
,” I retorted.

  “Man, you really are lonely out here. I should introduce you to Jack. He might take you up on that offer.”

  I shook my head. “I already met Jack.”

  “Good, then call him.”

  “Not my type.”

  Kapena laughed and nodded. “Jack’s a good guy. He takes good care of Kiki.”

  “He said the same thing about you.”

  “He’s always been there for her.”

  “She’s lucky to have him.”

  Kapena nodded, looking off into the ocean. We finished our dinners and cleaned up the kitchen. “I’m going back out at sunset. Best time. Want another lesson?”

  I nodded. “Sounds good.”

  Kapena nodded and went to his room. I figured I’d take the time to look for a new place. Even though he was easy to live with, I didn’t want to stay there forever. I’d never had my own place, and I was looking forward to it.

  I scrolled through the listings online, knowing I couldn’t afford any of them.

  Well, I wasn’t willing to pay for any of them. Shit. It was expensive to live in Hawaii.

  A knock on my door an hour later had me shutting down the browser. “Yeah?”

  “You ready?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Let’s go.”

  I changed back into my trunks and a rash guard and met Kapena on the lanai. He had my board waxed and ready for me. I thanked him with a nod and followed him to the beach.

  Kapena didn’t say anything to me as we paddled out into the inky water. It was eerie being out there, like we were being set up for the kill scene in a movie. I scanned the water, fully expecting to see a fin heading straight toward me.

  What I saw instead was a perfect set of waves.

  Kapena met my eye and nodded. We were ready.

  Boards pointed toward the waves, we paddled out farther. Kapena yelled, “Now!” I turned my board and waited for the wave to come up under me and pick me up.

  And waited.

  And waited.

  It felt like someone was under my board trying to tug it out from beneath me. I held on tight, letting the wave pull me forward with its momentum. I knew this part. The part where I could stand on the board and ride the wave in.

  Hands down, I paused. I thought I heard Kapena telling me to stand, but the roar of the ocean was louder than he was. I shoved hard, bringing my feet up under me. Slowly, I let go of the board and rose to stand. I kept rushing toward the shore. My feet felt secure under me, so I stood to my full height.

  Splash!

  Something slammed into my back and plunged me head first into the depths of the water. I struggled to find the surface when it all looked the same. I saw a hint of light and swam toward it.

  When I surfaced, Kapena was cruising past me, laughing.

  “Nice one!” he called.

  “Fuck you, Kapena!”

  He laughed even harder before dropping back onto his board. He paddled over to me. “I didn’t think you’d actually try to stand up.”

  “I told you I’ve surfed before.”

  “Yeah, but not in Hawaii. Did you see the other side of that wave?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “It closed you in. While you were ready to go home, the wave was squeezing you. That’s why you were going so fast. The other side knocked you out.”

  “How the hell was I supposed to know that was going to happen?”

  “I tried to tell you.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “I told you not to stand up.”

  I shook my head. “I thought I heard you say ‘stand.’”

  He laughed. “Nope. Come on. One more.”

  “Are you gonna laugh at me?”

  He nodded. “Probably. Let’s go. I need the entertainment.”

  I laughed and followed Kapena. He was tough to stay mad at.

  Just like his sister.

  Thank God for Kona coffee. Damn, was it good. It kept me awake for my drive around the island. I pulled into Volcanoes National Park with the sun still peacefully tucked into bed, giving me plenty of time to get down to the shoreline and be ready to start shooting.

  I took the road through the park to the end and parked next to a dark Jeep. I grabbed my bags and locked up my helmet, then headed out onto the lava.

  I had to watch where I was going as the uneven ground beneath my feet dipped and curved with the flow of solid lava. It amazed me, yet again, how close I could drive to what was once a field of molten lava. Luckily for me, the lava was relatively close again, and I could get some amazing shots without having to hike too far.

  I’d just finished setting up, taking a couple pics of the sun as it peeked at me, when someone appeared on the horizon. The active lava field wasn’t far off, so I was shocked to see someone coming toward me from that direction.

  Then I noticed the bag and realized it was another photog. One who wanted an even closer shot than I did.

  “Aloha,” he said when he approached. He was clearly not from the islands with his light brown hair and Midwestern accent, but I guessed he’d lived there long enough that he felt like a local.

  “Aloha.”

  “Great day, isn’t it?”

  I nodded. “It is. Get anything good out there?”

  “Hell yeah. It’s amazing. You should walk out. It can be a little dicey this time of day, but if you pay attention, it’s worth the risk.”

  “I might have to do that. I live on the other side of the island, and I’m not planning to waste this trip.”

  “Oh, yeah? I just moved from there. I was just south of the airport.”

  I nodded. “That’s where I am, too. Ke’aloha.”

  “No shit? I worked there with my ex.”

  “Ex doesn’t sound good,” I said with a smirk.

  He laughed. “She was really good for a while. Only reason I stayed put as long as I did.”

  “Why did you leave?” I asked, sensing a story. I could handle living vicariously for a minute.

  He shook his head. “Ah, you know. Too many women to try out. I needed to explore. And the longer we were together, the more frigid she became. Working together made it tough to explore other possibilities. She got clingy.”

  I groaned, playing my role. “Can’t have that. Clingy women need to take a step back. Or a few.”

  He laughed. “Exactly. If she didn’t start talking about marriage I probably would have hung around a bit longer, but it was always on her mind working. Destination weddings. She definitely had a drive to please. And a hell of a body. Lots of curves in all the right places. I’m definitely going to miss some things about her.”

  A tingle slid up my spine. There was no fucking way.

  “Destination weddings?” I asked, hoping I didn’t sound odd. It wasn’t possible I stumbled upon Kiana’s former photog, and that they really were sleeping together. “How did you ever get hooked up with someone like that?”

  He laughed. “A…mutual friend introduced us. She was hard to say no to. A few late nights. Too much champagne. I’d offer to help. You know. It’s hard to say no to a woman that looks like her. I just helped her to see that we should give it a shot. Once she was in my bed though, she never wanted to leave.”

  “Yeah,” I choked out. “It’s tough when they won’t go.”

  “Right?” he said, clapping me on the back. “There are too many Hawaiian hotties to stick to just one. I figured I’d get some space and try out a few different options, but I definitely won’t forget her any time soon. You should have seen her. Mmm. She even taught me how to pick up women in Hawaiian.” He laughed. “You’d think she was smarter than that!”

  My fingers curled into fists, ready to knock the laugh right out of him. Son of a bitch. No wonder Kiana hated me. Her old photog was a sleezy bastard who’d fucked her and left her. He’d weaseled his way into her life and her bed with his offers of help and pretending to give a shit. Then ditched her
because he didn’t want just one woman.

  And I was acting just like him.

  “Anyway,” he said, walking past me. “Good luck with the pics. Maybe I’ll catch you next time. You won’t regret the walk out on the lava. Best shots are out there.”

  He turned and walked away before I could knock him out. No one would miss him, right? It could easily be explained as a slip and fall when he got too close to the lava. They’d find him in a hundred years or so.

  Fuck. Dickhead was gone, and I no longer wanted to take pictures.

  I sat on the ground and watched the sun lift higher and higher into the sky. It was a perfect morning. Orange and yellow and red. The colors reflected off the deep blue water and made me ache to take a shot. Or a hundred.

  But I couldn’t.

  It made me sick to think about that slimy son of a bitch putting his hands on Kiana.

  Why the hell didn’t Kapena kill him? Chase him down and destroy the guy. He threatened me against touching his sister, and that asshole not only touched his sister but fucked with her head.

  And then the dumbass told me all about her like I was his buddy.

  I wanted to kill him.

  I finally packed up my gear and got back on my bike. I rode back around the island, going faster than I probably should have. I slowed as I went through the small towns on the southern end of the island but got back to Kapena’s a lot faster than I made it out to the park.

  I burst through the door, my anger festering and ready to blow. Kapena stood at the stove, frying Spam no doubt, in his shorts. Tattoos raced down his chest and over his arms, but I barely noticed them anymore.

  “Why did you let that douche-canoe live?” I blurted.

  “Huh?”

  “That dick your sister dated. The photographer? Why didn’t you give him a surfing lesson and let him drown?”

  “What are you talking about?” he demanded, his usual smile slithering from his lips.

  “The photographer. The one who worked for her before me. What was his name?”

  “Anthony?”

  “Yeah. He’s a prick. You tell me to keep my hands off her, and that asshat was okay?”

  “Kiki dated that ‘ōkole?”

  “You didn’t know?” I asked, baffled. Hell, her clean-up crew told me she was screwing him. If they knew, how did her own brother not know?