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  “That’s a good idea. I don’t even think about it because I love pretty much all foods, but if you struggle with eating veggies then it makes sense. I’ll have to remember that if I ever have kids.”

  Drew nodded. “I know, right? I’m still freaked out by Xander having a kid.”

  “I take it you don’t want kids?” I asked, disappointment spreading slowly through me.

  He shrugged. “Maybe one day, but not anytime soon. I’m 32 so I figure I’ve got plenty of time. With the business just getting off the ground I’m not interested in kids just yet. Xander said he and Mandy were surprised by the baby. I certainly don’t want that to happen.”

  “Not all kids are planned,” I argued as Drew set a plate of steaming food in front of me. “Thanks.”

  “Most kids aren’t planned. I’m a product of that. My parents weren’t ready to be parents but they tried. My dad had enough of it after a few years and split before I was three.”

  “Wow, I didn’t know that. Are you in touch with your dad?”

  Drew shook his head as he took a bite. “He never looked back. Mom and I were okay though. She worked hard but we got by. All I know is being raised by a single mom, but I think it would have been easier with two parents. I’d never let my kid be raised alone.”

  He spoke with conviction. In the time we’d known each other he’d never once complained about anything. Not what he was missing, about anything being unfair, or how his life was. Drew was one of the most upbeat and positive people I’d ever met. Working for him and Xander was easy because they were both such laid back guys. Apparently that was just part of what made Drew, Drew.

  We sat in silence side-by-side at the small table in the breakfast nook eating our dinner. It was delicious. The pasta gave a bit of weight to the meal, but the fresh crisp of the onions and peppers lightened it up. The ground beef was cooked to perfection and even the sauce was good. Drew was right, he was a very good cook.

  As we finished up I insisted on cleaning up since Drew cooked. He wouldn’t leave the kitchen and instead helped me store the leftovers and we loaded the dishwasher.

  “Have you guys started working on the proposal for city hall yet?”

  Drew shook his head and leaned against the counter. “We have a few ideas, but nothing set yet. We’re going over there Monday to look around and get a better idea of what they want us to bid on.”

  “If you guys need me to go, I’d be happy to.”

  “Eh, it’s just a tour, nothing too exciting. We’ll take lots of pictures and go from there. It’ll be good to have you at the office.”

  I agreed but felt like there was something else going on that he wasn’t telling me. I pushed the thoughts aside as he offered me a tour.

  “I know you already walked through but I’d love to show it to you.”

  I agreed and let him lead me from room to room, pointing out things he particularly liked. We turned back from the office and passed through the breakfast nook into his master suite.

  “I bought the condo because of this room,” he explained. “It’s not huge, but it has a great view and I really liked that it was separate from the rest of the house a little. The bathroom is a woman’s dream I’ve been told.”

  “It’s beautiful,” I told him as I looked around. A king sized bed dominated the space. With the espresso wood platform frame and storage headboard I knew it was something I would have chosen for myself. Crisp white sheets and a smooth white comforter lightened up the heavy wood.

  The night stands matched the wood and boasted more storage along with two matching lamps and a small stack of books on one, a charging station on the other. A six drawer dresser held up a large TV on the wall opposite the bed. An open door leading to the bathroom was next to the dresser.

  The bathroom was exactly as Drew said. Double sinks with plenty of counter space, a shower and separate soaker tub, and a private toilet made me wish I had one. At the end of the bathroom was a closet almost as big as the bathroom. Drew had his clothes spread around but it was obvious there was plenty of room for a second person to store clothes in there, too. Not that I was planning on it.

  “Wow,” I breathed as I took in every last detail from the pebbled floor in the shower to the glass tile accents around the room. The grey wood vanity and gleaming white counter and sink were straight out of a magazine. Even the shower and tub was something I’d only seen on Pinterest.

  “Do you like it?”

  “I love it. It’s stunning. I want one,” I said smiling.

  Drew grinned back at me. “Well, you can share mine.”

  Warmth spread through me. I knew he didn’t mean forever, but I was starting to think of my time with Drew as something that was leading somewhere. Like maybe we had a chance at a future. I was fooling myself, but I couldn’t stop. Every moment I spent with Drew made me want him more.

  He was, in many ways, the ideal man for me. He was gorgeous, yeah, but it was so much more than that with him. We had similar interests and similar personalities. We were both raised by single moms. We both loved to cook and enjoyed the same foods.

  Having a lot in common didn’t mean we were right for each other or that we should be together. I knew that. After all, I’d had a lot in common with my ex and it didn’t work out. Thankfully it wasn’t a messy break-up, but being friends, getting along, or hot sex didn’t make a good relationship. You needed all those things plus that one invisible, unnamed addition. The secret ingredient to a successful relationship.

  That spark, or connection, that never diminished. That determination to keep trying. That desire to stay together no matter how hard things got.

  And only time would tell if Drew and I had any of that.

  Drew came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Thank you for coming here. I wanted to spend some more time with you.”

  “Me too. I’m sorry I put you on the spot about Brandi, but I’m glad you told me.”

  Drew spun me toward him and placed a finger over my lips. “Shh, we’re not going to talk about her tonight. Or ever again. She’s not in my life anymore.”

  Something nagged at the back of my mind, something I couldn’t place. I didn’t know what it was, but when Drew leaned down and kissed me it slipped away. Vanishing into the air like I knew my clothes would. His lips teased mine gently, soft kisses dotting my lips. His fingers wound through my hair as he manipulated my head to his liking.

  His lips left mine and went to my neck, leaving the same soft kisses on my exposed skin. He pulled my hair to get me to lean back further and ran his teeth over my collarbones then traced a path to my chest with his tongue.

  “I’ve been waiting to get you into a bed for a month. I’m not missing this chance,” he whispered against my skin.

  Without taking his lips from me, Drew led me back into the bedroom. My closed eyes had me floundering, but I trusted him. I knew Drew would take care of me. When the backs of my legs bumped the edge of the bed his arm slid around my back to keep me from falling. His hand slipped under the edge of my shirt and brushed my bare skin, his heat passing through to me.

  He slowly lifted my shirt, pausing before exposing my bra. His eyes locked onto mine and I saw an expression that threatened to steal my breath, and my heart. It wasn’t love, I wasn’t that foolish, but it was something close. Something that scared me because Drew wasn’t in this for love. He must have confused lust for love. Or maybe I did.

  With my shirt gone Drew unhooked my bra and I stood before him with the top half bared. “You’re even more beautiful than I thought,” he said reverently.

  “You’ve seen me before,” I argued.

  “Not like this. Not completely naked. I’m going to enjoy this,” he said, kneeling in front of me. His height advantage put him dead even with my breasts when he was on his knees. He looked up at me with a cocky grin before covering one nipple with his hot mouth. My head fell back with the touch of his tongue. I moaned and my hands cupped his head, holding him again
st me.

  When he switched sides I felt one hand working on my pants. He popped the button then tugged down the zipper. The mix of sensations, knowing he was going to have me naked soon and the feel of him on my nipple, sent me spinning. I clutched at him for balance but felt myself wavering.

  Drew’s hands on my hips steadied me and he pulled back to look at me. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes,” I half-moaned. Drew grinned and tugged my pants and black lace thong down. He saw the scrap of lace on the floor and picked it up once I’d stepped out of my pants. In a move that shocked me he brought it to his face and inhaled deeply.

  “You smell so fucking good. I can’t wait to find out how you taste,” I rasped, the deep huskiness of his voice sending signals straight between my legs.

  Where he was going to taste me? I wasn’t so sure about that.

  “No, you don’t-“

  “Please, Carrie. Let me,” he begged from his knees. He looked like a little kid asking for a puppy. I almost laughed, but instead just laid back on his bed.

  His eyes darkened as they trailed from my face down my body and settled between my legs. I’d always kept myself well trimmed and I could see him taking in the newest design down there.

  “Is that-?”

  “Yep.”

  A grin spread over his face and he leaned closer and closer to me. The first touch of his tongue brought my hips off the bed. “I knew you were going to taste good. And with that sort of response you’ll be coming in no time.”

  I smirked at his over-confidence. I’d always delivered a quick response but it would fade before the main event could happen. Most of the time men would just give up and we’d have sex, leaving me wholly unfulfilled. Unfortunately I was fairly certain things would end the same with Drew, despite his prior performances.

  Drew’s hands caressed the inside of my thighs and spread my legs open a bit further. The sensitive skin tingled at his touch and I almost forgot what was going on with the new sensations dancing through me. Then his tongue returned to me and I was off the bed again.

  With the precision of a surgeon, Drew teased and tasted me, murmuring every now and then. To my surprise, my initial jolt of pleasure never faded but instead increased. Just like when we’d had sex, Drew was as good with his tongue as he was with his cock and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I’d be screaming his name.

  His hands rubbed my thighs, teasing close to his mouth with his thumbs. I moaned and arched into him, wanting to feel him inside me. He took the hint and slid a finger, then two, inside. He hummed his approval and sucked on me harder, shaking his head slightly from side to side.

  The added friction slammed pleasure through my body. I tensed and came hard, screaming his name as my body released in a sudden rush. It felt as though all the pleasure that my body held exploded all at once and rocked through me, taking my control on the ride.

  When I could finally focus again, Drew was kissing my belly and working his way up to me. “That was fun.”

  His clothes scratched at my skin and I clawed at them, needing him naked and inside me. With a chuckle Drew got the message and stripped. I scooted up the bed while he sheathed himself then covered me. He kissed me hard and deep as he thrust into me, his tongue matching the rhythm set by his hips.

  “Oh, fuck, you’re wet.”

  “Yeah, well, you’re good at making me that way.”

  A smirk crossed his lips before I angled my hips and rolled into him as he thrust against me. He groaned and his eyes rolled back in his head. “Keep. Doing. That,” he growled.

  I moved with his thrusts and watched as he quickly went as crazy as I was. Focusing on him, I failed to notice how tight my own body was becoming until I was nearly there.

  “You like that too, don’t you. You sexy little kitten. I knew when I saw you across the room that you’d be like this. Jesus, your body was made for pleasure.”

  He grabbed onto my hips and pounded harder into me. Forcing me against him with every thrust. I moaned and arched my back, getting closer and closer to the edge all over again.

  His rough voice broke through my haziness again, “I love watching your face. Your mouth forms that perfect O and I can’t decide where I want my cock. Oh, Jesus, you feel so fucking good. Seeing your dark hair spread out over my pillow and that look on your beautiful face… Fuck, baby, I’m not gonna last much longer. I need to feel you come on my cock. Now, baby, come now.”

  As always, my body jumped to his command. I clawed at his back and screamed his name. I bit down on his shoulder and pumped against him, feeling his sweaty body slick against mine, his cock throbbing inside me, his fingers digging into my hips. All of it together sent me spiraling into darkness.

  My name drifted through the darkness, first a thundering yell, then soft and sweet. Something tickled my neck and as the darkness faded I realized it was Drew. He whispered my name as he kissed my neck, his body still pressed on top of me.

  I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. “You’re absolutely fucking amazing,” Drew whispered before he rolled off me. I watched his naked ass as he went to the bathroom then stared at his bobbing erection, still mostly hard, when he came back toward me.

  He yanked the covers out from under me then pulled them back over my naked body. I knew I should get up but I didn’t have the strength. And when he curled up behind me and held me tight against him, I didn’t want to leave.

  Ten

  Drew asked me to stay the night. I wasn’t entirely sure about it because I knew the more time I spent with him the more likely I was to fall for him. I was barely holding on to my heart as it was, but spending nights in his arms would loosen that hold little by little until my heart was completely in Drew’s hands.

  I just hoped he would treat it well.

  In spite of my hesitation, I gave in and stayed with him. He fell asleep holding me in his arms and woke me up three times during the night to have sex. That’s all it was, sex. Not making love. It was just sex. No matter how gentle he was the last time or how many times he told me how beautiful I was. It was just sex.

  In the morning he made me breakfast, French toast and bacon, before I had to leave. Drew asked me to spend the day with him, but I promised my mom I’d have dinner with her and Megan and I knew better than to miss it. And yeah, I needed most of the day to prepare myself for dinner.

  I kissed Drew goodbye around ten and headed home to shower. When I got out of the shower I had a text message from Riley asking me to lunch. I texted her back, ‘Dinner with Mom and Megan tonight.’ Riley knew enough to understand that meant I’d be freaking out all day.

  Her message came back less than a minute later. ‘Just us. Connor’s working. Sandy’s in 30.’

  I thought about it for a second before agreeing. Meeting Riley would take my mind off going to see my mom and sister. Plus, I had to eat.

  Sandy’s Wiches was one of our favorite lunch spots. The menu was full of sandwich options but also salads. Their bread was baked fresh daily and soft and delicious. Their meats were sliced paper thin and their cheese was thick. The salads were like a party in your mouth and the sandwiches were the best in town.

  Riley knew I’d never say no to Sandy’s.

  When I walked in the door the smell of fresh baked bread met me and made my stomach growl. It’d been a few hours since my French toast and it was going to be a few more hours before dinner. I was going to enjoy my lunch.

  Riley walked in just after me and we found a table near the back. I ordered a grilled chicken pesto sandwich and Riley chose a reuben. The waitress brought our waters and I asked Riley, “What’s up?”

  Something told me there was a reason she asked me to lunch. Riley and I were close, but we didn’t have lunch often since Connor came into the picture a few months earlier. It still shocked me at times that they’d gotten engaged and married so quickly. Then again, it was slow compared to some of our friends.

  “Nothing’s up, why?” Riley said, her voice an
octave higher than normal.

  I cocked an eyebrow at her and waited for Riley to crack. She’d never been good at keeping secrets or retrieving them. Whatever she wanted to talk about wasn’t an easy subject.

  “Okay, fine. I wanted to talk about you.”

  “Me? What about me?” I asked, feeling defensive.

  “I’m worried about you, Carrie.”

  “Why are you worried about me?” I was still confused.

  Riley took a deep breath. Her face looked pained and I knew she wasn’t the one coming up with this. Our friends had likely put her up to it, nominating Riley because we’re close. Whatever was going on I knew it was going to make my evening with Mom and Megan seem like a picnic.

  “I know Mandy was trying to help you out when she got you that job, but I don’t think it’s good for you. You work for two men that aren’t around much. You’re alone most of the time. You said they aren’t bringing in as much work as they’d expected. I don’t want you to end up on a sinking ship. You were already on one. I don’t want to see you lose yourself again.”

  So that’s where it all was coming from. Riley wanted me to be the person I’d been for years. I wasn’t sure who that was anymore.

  I shrugged. “I don’t think I’m going to lose myself because I never knew who I was. Not really. I’ve always thought I wanted to be a wife and mom, but it doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen. Maybe it’s time for a new dream.”

  Riley gawked at me, giving me the fish face. You know, where she opened and closed her mouth repeatedly. I’d shocked the hell out of her. In a way I’d shocked myself. I wasn’t lying to Riley but I knew deep down it wasn’t what I wanted. It was what I felt like I had to do.

  Being a wife and mom had been my dream forever. To have the chance to have the family that was stolen from me. To be the mom I wished I’d had. I still wanted it. More than my next breath at times. The problem was I had to be realistic. I was 27. Meeting someone, dating, getting married, and being ready for kids… it could take years. Even if I fast-tracked a relationship like my friends had, it’d still be years before I’d have kids.